COLONNELLO: The Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual
by Lulu-ichigo
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the owner of a COLONNELLO unit! In order to completely utilize the functions of this blond ex-COMSUBIN soldier, it is recommended that you read the following manual carefully, kora!


**A/N: **hey guys! XD here's another manual for you. And to jaguar08, if ever you are reading this: I'm sorry, I can't do Mukuro. He's been done already. Google the words 'Mukuro rokudo' and 'manual' and read away! XD

Dozo~

Disclaimer: don't own the format, don't own the anime.

XXX

**COLONNELLO: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS!** You are now the owner of a COLONNELLO unit! In order to completely utilize the functions of this blond ex-COMSUBIN soldier, it is recommended that you read the following manual carefully, kora!

**Technical Specifications**

**Name:** Colonello

**Age:** _unknown_

**Place of Manufacture**: Italy

**Height:** 40 cm

**Weight:** 4 kg

**Length:** why do you think Lal Mirch blushes when she sees him?

**Your COLONNELLO unit comes with the following accessories:**

One _Falco_™ unit

One anti-tank rifle

One camouflage bandana

One _'01'_ pin

One blue pacifier

Seven moss green jackets

Seven moss green pants

One pair of military boots

Seven white shirts

**Removing your COLONNELLO unit from his box**

Before you open the box, eat a lot of leafy green veggies and fruits. Trust us; it'll help you replace the blood you lost when you (oh you WILL) shed a good deal of it when you see his cuteness.

**Programming**

After you successfully take out your COLONNELLO unit, you will notice that it comes with a variety of dangerous yet amazing features:

**Hitman: **what do you expect from a soldier who came from COMSUBIN? He'll probably blow the whole house of his target with that awesome anti-tank weapon of his. Like the REBORN unit, he'll never leave a trace, because everything will be burned or be shot down.

**Trainer:** this blond soldier inherited his Spartan ways from the great LAL MIRCH unit. So expect a five mile jog in the morning and a few thousand crunches there and here. But I tell you, it'll be worth it if you survive (we applaud you if you did), because not only will you gain a gorgeous body, but you'll also earn some respect (and hopefully, admiration) from this unit.

**Bird tamer: **do you have a very wild bird you cannot pacify? Fret no more! The COLONNELLO unit will tame it for you! As you can see, he's very fond of birds, like the HIBARI KYOYA unit.

**Combat expert:** don't take this blond unit lightly. He maybe cuter than your kitten, but he's deadly. He has mastered the arts of karate and SAMBO, and he's also well versed in ammunition and traps. So yes, he can kill you in ways you didn't even know existed. What do you think the COMSUBIN people teach their soldiers? So yeah, good luck to you if you ever piss this unit off.

**Your COLONNELLO unit comes in the following modes:**

_Kora!-nnello (default)_

_Sweetie-nnello (locked)_

_I'm going to kill you, kora! (locked)_

The _Kora-nnello _mode is in default as it covers all of this unit's behaviour.

The _Sweetie-nnello _mode is locked for a very, very simple reason. This unit is obviously in to LAL MIRCH. I mean, the only thing that lacks in those two is a decent (or not so decent) kiss, and it'll be official that they're in love with each other. So, we had decided to program him with this very very special mode. Once you unlock it, all the feelings he has for the blue haired arcobaleno will be gone. He'll completely love you and only you. Sounds great, yes?

The last mode is the _I'm going to kill you, kora!_ Mode. This mode is activated when [1] the REBORN unit is near or, [2] if you had done something that pissed him off, obviously. If that ever [1] happens, just keep your distance and you'll be safe. If [2] happens…ah, what kind of flowers would you like to receive on your funeral?

**Relationships with other units****:**

**RYOHEI SASAGAWA:** this EXTREME unit is the student of the COLONNELLO unit, so expect a good deal of respect between these two.

**REBORN: **expect an epic explosion and a few casualties on your part (if you're stupid enough not to run away) when these two meet.

**LAL MIRCH: **the COLONNELO unit's relationship with this unit is… Do I really have to explain it again?

**SKULL: **the unit's relationship with this pierced unit is similar to the REBORN unit.

**Cleaning**

Like the REBORN unit, he doesn't require help in this matter. However, if _he _insists…

**Feeding**

He requires the diet of a grown man, like all the other arcobaleno. And he needs his daily glass of milk too.

**Rest**

Funny how this unit is so similar to his rival…

**Frequently asked questions**

**Q:** how do I activate the _Sweetie-nnello _mode?

**A:** just one thing. Prove to it that you're much more awesome than LAL MIRCH. We wish you the best of luck.

**Q:** I received a… OH MY GOD HE'S SO HOT!

**A:** CONGRATULATIONS! You have just won the _Adult Colonnello_™ unit. Luckily, that unit comes with a very special mode that when activated… well, just be prepared when he jumps at you and starts doing things one can't say in public. And yes, he won't stop until he's satisfied. Oh, did I forget to tell you he's so hard to please? But, if you're crazy enough to reject that sexy beast, just call Customer Service and we'll be happy to swap.

**Troubleshooting**

**Problem: **my unit is making me run in the morning! What should I do?

**Solution:** just do it. You won't be able to live with him if you can't keep up with his expectations.

**Problem:** he keeps saying 'hey' at every end of his sentence.

**Solution:** is that even a problem?

**End notes**

Under the _Arcobaleno_™ series, the COLONNELLO unit will surely make you enjoy your life, or, he will make you suffer for the rest of your life. But if you're patient enough, the reward he'll give you will be priceless. Enjoy!

XXX

A/N: okay! Verde is up next. And special thanks to Minjiroxx-chan, my very own 'gocchan', for providing me with such brilliant suggestions. Thank you for reading!


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